Episode 3: “I’m Afraid to Love”—Anwesha’s Battle with Relationship Trauma and Emotional Avoidance

On the Path of Psychotherapy: Case Files of Rathin Ghosh

Episode 3: “I’m Afraid to Love”—Anwesha’s Battle with Relationship Trauma and Emotional Avoidance

Written by: Rathin Ghosh, Clinical Psychotherapist & Counselor

(Based on a real case, name changed)

“I don’t let anyone get too close… I’m scared… as if everyone will leave eventually.”

Anwesha said this as she sat down in my office. Her voice trembled, yet her eyes held a strange detachment—the kind that comes only from chronic emotional pain.

Anwesha, 29, a software engineer working in a top corporate firm. Professionally successful, confident on the outside, bright smile on Instagram, a LinkedIn profile filled with achievements. But I knew—each broken relationship left her crying through sleepless nights, not just with tears, but with silent self-loathing.

A Wall No One Can See

In the first session, I asked,

“Anwesha, have you ever felt someone was perfect, but still you couldn’t bring yourself to let them in?”

She remained silent. Then softly replied,

“Yes, no matter how good they are… I hold myself back. I just can’t trust. Inside, a voice tells me—they’ll leave too.”

This fear, this hesitation, is a symptom of Emotional Avoidance Disorder or a deep Attachment Wound. I realized we were standing at the edge of a psychological chasm—where echoes, not voices, dwell.

Tracing the Fear: A Childhood in Shadows

Using a technique called ‘Core Wound Tracing’, I helped Anwesha reach into the roots of her beliefs.

It emerged that in her childhood, her father was harsh, angry, emotionally cold. Her mother remained silent, enduring everything.

Anwesha once said—

“I went to hug my father once, and he pushed me away—‘Don’t be so clingy.’ That moment I learned—love is shameful.”

This one moment embedded a belief in her psyche:

“If you love, you will be rejected.”

She never forgot that. Instead, this belief echoed through every future relationship—

“They’ll leave me too.”

Love and Escape: The Parade of Broken Bonds

Anwesha’s love life was turbulent and painful.

Her first boyfriend was caring, but left because she couldn’t open up emotionally. She assumed, overthought, and then suddenly ended things—

“You don’t really love me. You’ll be better off with someone else.”

The second—an office colleague. She began to care, and then started finding faults. Delayed phone calls triggered suspicion, kind words felt suffocating.

This was self-sabotage. Her subconscious warned:

“The closer you get, the more likely you’ll be hurt. Run!”

The Future Begins: A Mirror, A Letter, A Little Girl

I asked Anwesha to stand in front of a mirror and say:

“I am worthy of love.”

She laughed at first.

“Will this really change anything?”

I said, “Your subconscious believes your words—however you speak to yourself, it shapes your reality.”

Along with mirror affirmations, we began Inner Child Work.

One day in session, I asked her to imagine her 8-year-old self—curled up in a corner, afraid, hearing her father’s rage.

“You, as the adult you are now, sit beside her. What do you say?”

Her voice cracked.

“I won’t leave you. Even if no one else loves you—I do. I love you.”

And in that moment, something inside her shifted.

Therapy in Practice: CBT, EFT, Gratitude, and Rebuilding Trust

We continued with techniques including:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy):

Identifying her distorted beliefs:

 “I’m not attractive,”

“Anyone who loves me will eventually hurt me.”

We challenged each of these thoughts with logic and reality.

Gratitude Journal:

Writing three things daily that she was grateful for.

Initially, she couldn’t think of anything. By Day 6, she wrote:

 “A stranger complimented my smile today. It felt nice to be noticed.”

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique):

A tapping technique during anxiety—lightly tapping on specific energy points on the body.

She said—“It feels like I’m anchoring myself.”

Befriending Herself: Social Exposure and Digital Rebirth

I encouraged her to try a weekly social task:

Week 1: Speak to a neighbor for 5 minutes

Week 2: Offer tea to a colleague

Week 3: Start a poetry vlog on YouTube

She began her YouTube channel—reading her own poems.

The first video had only 17 views.

But the second received a comment:

“Your voice carries deep emotion. Stay strong.”

She came the next day and said:

“Sir, someone felt me… through my words.”

The Final Chapter: Choosing Love, Not Running Away

Today, Anwesha runs her own mental health support community called “Love with Courage.”

She speaks to others who are afraid of intimacy, afraid to be seen.

She says—

“The real courage is not in getting love, but in being able to give it—and that starts with yourself.”

Closing Words

Anwesha’s story teaches us:

The greatest block to love is not other people—but our own fear.

Until we embrace our wounded inner child, no amount of care from outside can heal us.

Love isn’t about holding someone’s hand—sometimes it’s about recognizing the trembling within, and still deciding to stay.

Written by: Rathin Ghosh

Clinical Psychotherapist & Counselor

Feel Good Now – Ask Me How

#EmotionalHealing #LoveTrauma #InnerChildWork #AnweshaCaseFile

[Episode 4: “I’m fine—but only on social media”—Aditi’s dual life between digital identity and real-world isolation. Coming soon.]